Grooming Our Kids for Success

Parenting is Not for Everyone

The role of parenting is not an easy one because it’s a relationship that is designed to have an end, unlike other relationships. As Dr. John Townsend says in his book “God Will Make A Way” (ch 13), “God’s design of you as a parent is to be constantly working yourself out of a job.” We are to help them grow and be independent adults that are not dependent or codependent on us financially or emotionally. 


It’s not easy to let our kids grow up and become completely independent of us when we have poured ourselves into them during their childhood years, but that is the way God designed this role to be. We are parents only for the first 18 to 21 years of their life, then, if our job was done successfully, they will have matured enough to make their own life without us….whatever that may entail… not dependent on us in any way. Some kids are not mentally capable of this, there will always be an exception, but for the most part, parenting is designed to end. 


From infancy all the way until their teen years, we need to teach our children the skills they will require to live life independently of us. We need to allow them to make choices and let them experience the consequences of wrong choices, without judgment or condemnation. What do you think are the skills they will need? In my opinion, these include good money and time management, good communication and social skills, and dependence and wholehearted trust in God and His promises. What would you add to the list? 


“It is our very heart that has given them their own hearts so that they have the strength to leave and follow their true Father in the ways He has prepared for them” (J. Townsend) We must constantly remember that God loves our children even more than we love them and He is very concerned with their growth and maturity in every area. He knows the plans He has for them and they are for their good - plans that will help them prosper in every way (Jer 29:11)


Parenting is not easy, but if God gave you the privilege to be a mom or dad, He will give you the wisdom, help, guidance, and resources you need to do your job well. As parents, we will constantly be faced with our inadequacies, but that is simply a reminder that we cannot travel this path of life alone. We NEED God on our side to give us wisdom and help us control our emotions when things seem to be out of control; this is even more so if God gives us the role of homeschooling teachers! If parenting has been hard for you, remember that God allowed you to become a parent for a reason…. He will give you wisdom and all the resources necessary to be a great parent. Pour yourself emotionally into your kids, but always remember that your role must come to an end….. Allow your kids to grow up and encourage them to be independent of you emotionally and financially. That is the main goal of your parenting years.