Mom's Journey Blog

God's Grace Regardless of our Actions

 December 31st marked 20 years since my first husband, Brett Thomas Bohac, told me that his new year’s resolution was to live his life without me. I still remember the tears flowing from my eyes as I packed up my belonging in boxes and suitcases and pushed and carried them over to a little hotel room in the same building as our apartment in Chadron. I vividly remember when I went to Thomas a few days later to try and work things out, but he had his mind set. I ran out of the apartment crying and he ran after me. I reached my room and plopped down in the chair by my desk; he came in a few seconds later and furiously lashed out at me, “Get it through your head! I. Do. Not. Love you. Any. More”. I sat there speechless. That started me out on a path of anger towards God, which then led me to just doing things “my way”, with no regards to what God would say. I hated that he ended our marriage and I was all alone (that was my belief of the situation; I no longer believed that God loved me in any way) 

 

In retrospective, I see God still blessed me with the covenantal generational blessings of provision and protection, but I did not see that at the time. I played the good little Christian girl with my family and church friends on Sunday but the rest of the week I lived however I  felt like living, following my heart, believing that guys wanted to sleep with me because they found me attractive and therefore “loved me”. I was so wrong! 

 

My path has led me to many heartaches and a restless spirit. The Lord opened my womb in December of 1998 ( almost a full year after Thomas left me), and I had a son which He asked me to call Emmanuel as a daily reminder of His covenant with me. I was grateful but still was not ready to follow God’s ways. In His grace, willing to protect me from future mistakes, He granted me the husband I wanted, but that was not without heartaches since, I realize now,  that was not the path I was meant to follow in the first place. There has been a lot of tension since my second husband decided he wanted nothing to do with God and is following the path of believing what science proves, not what the Bible says. However, God is true to His word and has kept protecting me and blessing Dana simply by being with me - the “blessing by association” that was promised and seen in the lives of our patriarchs - Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He does not understand that, of course, but I have FINALLY learned to just leave him, our daughter, his two boys and his sisters in God’s hands. Whatever will be will be. I stand on the promise that “All things WILL work together for good for those who love God”. as it says in Romans 8:28. 

 

God had adjusted my values as he humbled me so I could see that everything is happening because of the path I chose 20 years ago. He has had mercy on me and through His grace has gotten me back on the Path of Blessing, for which I will be eternally grateful. Regardless of what anyone else will do - my husband, my kids, my husband’s kids, his sisters - I pray God will keep me strong and relying on His power to keep me on the straight path. I want to acknowledge Him in ALL I do and trust Him more every day. This path is so much more peaceful and I never want to go back to the path I chose to walk 20 years ago. 

 

“Now to Him who can do ABUNDANTLY MORE than I could ever ask or imagine, to Him be the glory now and forever.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)