Mom's Journey Blog

Shattered Dreams. God's Grace.

I was born and raised in Colombia as a pastor's kid and missionary kid. My childhood was great... until I turned 13, and then everything started going bad. Little did I know, though, that the worst years were yet to come. And yet... God's grace would shine through it all and bring restoration into my life. I would get to know the God of HOPE in a very personal way.

 

When I was young, I was thin and beautiful; I would constantly be winning the beauty contests in my neighborhood. When I became a teenager, I started gaining weight and I ended up being one of the unpopular kids at school. I had very few friends and I spent my lunches alone most of the time. Needless to say, my highschool years were not years I want to remember. Then I went to Germany to attend a Latvian school for a year, which ended up the year that I wanted to commit suicide because I just couldn't fit in with the other kids; their lifestyles were so different from mine! When I got back, I went to the University for a year and then decided that God was calling me to go to a Bible school in Seattle, WA. Those years were not my best years either. I struggled a lot and wanted to come home, but my dad would not allow it. I ended up marrying someone there when I was 25, but we struggled a lot during the 2 and a half years of marriage. He became atheist and started taking me down that road as well. Finally, God rescued me and put an end to the marriage by having my husband leave. I did not see it this way though.... I saw it as a horrible prank from God and could not understand why He would allow my marriage to be so bad and then, after many months of prayer by my parents and parents-in-law, why He would just allow the marriage to end. 

 

My anger took me to places I never dreamed of going. I started looking for love in all the wrong places and just gave my body away carelessly. I became addicted to sex. I suffered a lot emotionally, of course, because of my bad choices. Long story short, I ended up getting pregnant at 29 years of age and became a single working mom. I knew God wanted to keep my baby, even though the baby's father left me when I was three months pregnant, and so, in spite of emotional turmoil, I had my baby and named him Emmanuel David, just as I knew God wanted me to name Him as a daily reminder that God was with us (Emmanuel) and that my son would be loved by all (David).

 

In spite of all the struggles, God was with us and slowly I started coming back to Him. I started to see His hand of protection on me and He blessed me, us,  in spite of my bad choices. We always had enough food on the table and I had enough to pay the rent even though the baby's father never gave me a dime of child support. 

 

About a week before my son turned 2, I met a man that ended up becoming my husband 9 months later. His name was Dana; he had been separated from his wife for five years and had two sons who were 9 and 11. He came to my workplace, QMC, to fix the air conditioning. I thought nothing of him, but he pursued me and we ended up going on a dinner date, as friends, a couple weeks later. He was very patient and loving towards me and I was very thankful for that. We married May 17th, 2002. 

 

As you know, a rose bush comes with thorns as well, and there were definitely many thorns in my second marriage. I have been thankful to have a man that is responsible, caring and loving, but we don't have the best relationship in the world. There are times when I've wanted to give up, but through it all I have seen how God has helped build my faith in Him. Instead of going down the path of agnosticism with Dana, a path he chose a few years down the road, I have gotten closer to God. I have learned to rely only on God for provision, no matter what happens. I have learned that God is the only one that can love us in the way we truly desire to be loved and there is no blessing that He would withhold from us because of that. God has become my very best friend and I don't rely on any human relationship, including marriage, to satisfy any of my needs. God knows what is best for us and now all I want is His perfect plan for my life each and every day, no matter that may mean. I sometimes don't understand, but God helps me to continue trusting in and relying only on Him, and I am deeply grateful for this grace.

 

God called me to be a stay-at-home mom, a dream He placed on my heart when I was young. In addition, He called me to help others around the globe in their quest to  be healthy, fit and energetic. He has given me a simple plan to follow and teach others on a team He put into place called the Messengers of Hope. He has shown me that on my own I cannot accomplish this task, but with Him all things are possible; with His mighty hand upon us, He will prosper us in all we do. He taught me to simply pray daily for each member of the team and for their families, and He is teaching me how to pray for them in a way that will release His blessings upon their lives in ways far beyond my deepest dreams, and theirs. What is this prayer? It is the prayer of Jabez, a man in the Bible, which basically asks this: "God, please bless me immensely. Enlarge my territory that I may do more for you. May your mighty hand be upon me so that I prosper in all that I do. And keep from evil". This prayer of Jabez is very powerful when we pray it daily for ourselves and for those on the team God gives us to help us in the mission to which He called us. I invite you to learn more about this power of this little four-part prayer by purchasing the liitle book titled "The Prayer of Jabez"; to purchase it online, please click on this link at Amazon.com: "The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life"

 

I have learned through the trials in my life that I can count on God for complete healing - physically, mentally, emotionally, spirtually and financially. When I trust Him and follow His plan of action, He brings healing into my life. For example, on January 2nd, 2016, I broke my wrist skating on the beach. The wrist was shattered and the distal radial bone was totally where was not supposed to be, so I needed to have surgery. I found out through the visit to the ER that my iron levels were very low - 5.8, instead of 12, where it should be! I was given 2 bags of blood to help get me through the surgery, so I needed to spend the night in the hospital the day before. My sugery happened on January 15th and I was in horrible pain the next day. No antibiotics were given to me during my stay at the hospital, only a very small dose during surgery. Pain medication was minimal. I went home 3 days after checking into the hospital, with no prescriptions to fill. I was going to follow God's plan of healing, which I did. My bone was completely healed by 3rd follow up appointment with Dr. Rafijah, my ortho doctor, 8 weeks after surgery, on March 18th. He was so impressed with how much flexibility I had in my wrist and hand too. that He said I no longer had to go with the occupational therapist, but just continue to do my wrist and hand exercises at home! My iron level is going up as well; last time the levels were checked, they were at a 9. I follow a healthy lifestyle, concentrating on giving my body all the nutrients it needs to heal. God knows best and I follow His plan daily. Through this horrible experience, my faith in God has grown stronger and I know He can use my story to bless others, and for that I am grateful. 

 

I hope you can see through this little blog that in spite of my broken dreams, which caused a deep anger towards God for many years, God's grace has radiated in my life and through me. I am so thankful for His unmerited blessings in my life; there are no words to fully express this gratitude. The song called "The Tribute" expresses it best and I invite you to listen to it as I end this post; here is the link to it: "The Tribute"